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Dear Darla

The Diary of a 30-Something Smartass

When You Have Balls on Your Brain

Dear Darla, Lately, I’ve been thinking about balls.  Like… a lot. Noooo.   I’m not leading you down what appears to be that predictable dirty path just to abruptly take the expectedly unexpected left turn and confess that I’m suddenly and... Continue Reading →

December Musings

12/4/16 Dear Darla, If one more person tells me that dating is "a numbers game," they are getting throat punched. I don't have a god damn clue what my "number" for this year is, but I guarantee it's much higher than... Continue Reading →

Fuckboys Have Feelings TWO

For all of the poor guys who sent text messages apologizing to me for being a fuckboy...   Let me explain... I definitely struggled with my last post.  But I SWEAR it wasn't about you!  (Although some of your "sorry"... Continue Reading →

Fuckboys Have Feelings Too

Hi Boys and Girls! I'm here to talk to you about today's "Word of the Day"....... FUCKBOY. Eff-You-See-Kay-Bee-O-Why. Fuckboy is a popular and effective slur reserved for only the utmost cantankerous, lily-livered men-children trolling the planet.  They can be described... Continue Reading →

My First Dates are Better Than Yours

In no particular order, a list of this year's memorable first dates, thus far. The time he called 911. I went to dinner with a nice young man one night at little hot spot in town.  I had a hearty... Continue Reading →

Hi, I’m Nickie and I’m a Tinder Addict

Dear Darla, Tinder is fucking awesome.  Straight up, my favorite app.  I hear a lot of people say "ew" and snub their noses.  And others who complain that no one wants to talk.  Those people are playing it wrong.  Let me... Continue Reading →

Un-Star-Struck-able

Dear Darla, The last several days have been intense.  So intense, that for the first time since creating this diary, I have the story falling out of my mouth, my fingertips, even my eye sockets.  Where in that I typically... Continue Reading →

Dear Darla

Dear Diary.....Today I dub thee Darla. Why? Because that word-Nazi, Otto Korrecht, keeps trying to call you dairy.  I'm lactose intolerant.  That shit's not going to work. And besides....every time I start something with "Dear," I immediately want to recite... Continue Reading →

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